I can’t wait for the Apple Care to be released…

But not because I actually want to drive the thing.

I just can’t wait see all of the big dumb “herd animals” line up to buy one😂

I worked for Verizon as a sales rep for a few years, so I think I’m qualified to talk about Apple products…

First off, I can’t wait for the commercials.

The commercials will have music from a really popular group. Kind of like U2, when the iPod came out.

Maybe the car will have an album already pre-loaded when you buy the car.

I can’t wait for people to be camped out overnight, just to say they were one of the first ones to buy the car.

People will pay at least $60k for the base model, maybe even more.

Hell, if people already pay $40k (or more) for college just to get a piece of paper…

Just me, they’ll go in debt for this car.

There will probably only be 2 colors. Black and something else that’s not as sexy as black.

The black cars will also sell out in a matter of minutes.

I wonder if people will be buying up the first Apple cars with bots, and then reselling them on eBay for double the price…

I wouldn’t put it past people.

Regardless, people will complain about the scarcity marketing..

But really, they’ll just want one really bad.

The Apple Car will probably come with its own charging port.

And then years later, that charging port will be discontinued…

And then customers will complain because they have to buy a brand new charging cable.

The new cable will look slightly different and thinner than the older one. But I don’t want to get too ahead of myself!

I can’t wait for there to be battery issues. People won’t be able to drive 6 hours without charging those first cars.

Traditional mechanics won’t even be able to pop open the hood. You’ll have to take the car to a “Genius Repair Shop”😂

Not to mention the accidents.

There’s already enough accidents with Tesla’s self-driving feature.

If Apple had lawsuits now, just wait until the Car comes out. They’ll need a legal team the size of an army.

Nobody will want a Tesla by then. They’ll look at Teslas the same way BlackBerries became a thing of the past.

But by then, Elon will be on Mars.

And I’ll be one of the first in line for a one-way trip off this planet.

Because I won’t want to be sharing the roads with the idiots driving (or being self-driven by) the Apple Cars😂

  • Post author:
  • Post published:July 12, 2021

When cold calling turns to “dust in the wind”

Yesterday, I had a real lazy Saturday. One of those weekends, where I did nothing but watch reruns on deep cable.

One of those shows happened to be old Office episodes, most of which have still aged well.

I watched a few episodes from Season 4, around when Ryan “The Temp” becomes Michael’s Boss😂

There was one episode where Michael and Dwight go cold calling with gift baskets to woo old customers back.

And they walk into one office, and give a gift basket, which is warmly accepted…

But then they beg and plead with their old customer to come back to Dunder Mifflin…🤦‍♂️

Because they offer a more “personalized approach”.

But their customer wasn’t having it.

He basically just told them to kick rocks.

This is pretty much how most cold calls go…

Even though it is a numbers game, and eventually you will get a sale…

It’s a real slog😔

Because it’s like finding a needle in a haystack.

You have to call a lot of people just find someone who’s remotely interested…

And then you have to pitch a handful of those people…

Before you get just one order.

When I was a B2B sales rep, I had a conversation with an older rep who was in his 50s…

He showed me business cards from prospects he had been pitching for YEARS!😳

Meaning he had a first meeting with some prospects years ago, and they still didn’t buy from him…

But they kept stringing him along for years…

And he kept following up in the hopes that one day they would say “yes”.

It’s the first time I thought, I gotta get out of this cold calling business…

After a while, it just becomes sad, pathetic and it doesn’t come from a place of real leverage.

Plus it’s a bigger time suck than TikTok😂

On the opposite side of the coin, the past few years have really opened up opportunities…

Companies can reach prospects and customers using social media and email marketing in ways they couldn’t.

However, there’s a wrong way to marketing on platforms, and a right way to do it.

And a lot of companies market themselves the wrong way.

However, there’s a brief guide I made that can help you with the right way.

This is just one right way. There are several ways to skin a cat…

But if you’re already creating content and building an email list…

You’re a few dance steps away from really crushing it.

Get the brief guide called “Pitch Mode” delivered directly to your inbox.

  • Post author:
  • Post published:July 11, 2021

It’s 2019 and we added… an opt in form! 💥

I’ll never forget the exact moment I was mentally “done” with corporate marketing.

I was at a hotel conference room crammed with 100 other people for quarterly meeting.

And the VP of marketing walked up to the podium to speak… 🧐 

And like all stuffy corporate executives, he started to deliver updates, which were kinda boring…

But then he gave an update, which made my jaw drop.

Which was, they FINALLY added an opt-in form to the company website.

He added that if someone was on the site for a few minutes,  a pop-up form would appear…

Which gave them an option to schedule an appointment with a sales rep.

And he said, so as a result they’ve seen a real uptick in appointments.

No shit!

Congratulations. It was 2019, and a publicly-traded Fortune 100 company finally added an opt-in form 👏 

I was wondering, when would they add a lead magnet?

2030??

I wouldn’t want to push them too much😂

But seriously, this is is the type of stuff that has had me banging my freakin head against the wall for years.

I remember when I was in-charge of a company’s website at my first-ever marketing job…

And I would LITERALLY BEG my supervisor to allow us to put regular content on the site…

This was when blogs still had some steam, and video was gaining momentum…

And they were just like, Nah! Hard pass.

This is a company that refused to use an email platform because they were afraid all of their customers would unsubscribe.

Which gives you a clue of what kind of emails they were sending.

They would literally just take copy from Microsoft Word and paste into an email box…

Then send to literally hundreds of emails.

And by the way, all of the recipients could see each other!

Just think of the bounce backs… 😳 

Watching internet marketing strategies be used by people who are becoming more financially free…

But these same, easy-to-use strategies…

Aren’t being used by big dumb companies, makes me want to leap off a cliff.

And then big dumb executives continue to resist…

Unless a competitor starts doing something similar.

Then suddenly, they happen to get a clue.

So if you want to be successful with marketing…

You can’t follow the big dumb elephants in the room.

Just because they’re bigger and more noticeable, doesn’t mean they’re smarter or faster.

And they’re most likely to get eaten alive faster!

  • Post author:
  • Post published:July 10, 2021

Do you think panhandlers make bank?

Kind of a stupid question, but I keep thinking about it.

Back when I worked sales at Verizon, there was a panhandler right at the entrance of our shopping plaza.

Every day he would show up without fail. Sun, rain, or snow. Didn’t matter. He’d be there.

Until one day, my friend Bryan told me, you know that guy makes a ton of money, right?

I was like, no way! I didn’t believe him.

He sure does, Bryan told me. He makes more from his old job at GE. He used to be an engineer.

I didn’t believe that for the longest time after I heard that.

But then I later watched videos of people following panhandlers after their day of begging was done…

I’m not sure if these videos were real. I can’t trust anything on the internet anymore…

But these videos would show them climbing into a reasonably nice car…

And then driving to a reasonably nice home.

Again, whether it was real or not, I’m not sure. Let say for argument’s sake, they just brought home a few bucks a day.

They  essentially asked for a sale that didn’t deliver anything in return😂😂😂

No results at all. In a way, they’re the ultimate salesman.

But those guys had no problem asking.

Now I’m friends with people who are accountants (not the OF kind), electricians, IT dudes, etc…

And they are amazing at what they do.

And I have a great relationship with them. They could charge me any amount, and I would pay it without question because I like them and their work.

But for some reason, they have a massive hang-up with getting paid.

It’s such an issue, that I have to just send them a PayPal link with an amount that I think they’re worth.

However, the panhandlers don’t have a problem with getting paid for nothing though.

But my point is, getting paid depends largely on your ability to ask for the sale.

And a lot of people don’t want to ask for the sale. They aren’t comfortable with asking.

Look, as a sales rep, I’ve been there. It’s even been hard for me to ask people I barely knew to hand over money.

Thankfully, I’ve learned my own methods to help me feel comfortable, and get paid.

And if you feel uncomfortable, whether it’s in front of people you barely know, or people who’ve known you for a long time…

I wrote a brief guide that can help you out.

It’s how to sell offers without you feeling sleazy at the end…

And I give you a mental model so you don’t take it personally.

Plus real-life examples.

Get it here for free, and get it straight to your inbox fast.

I even try to make you laugh. I can’t promise the comedy is quality.

But at least you won’t leave empty-handed!

  • Post author:
  • Post published:July 9, 2021

When influencers say, “omg, look at my views”🚀…

I watched a TikTok that made me laugh so hard, I fell off my dinosaur.

I don’t want to mention who he is on here or link to his page because I kind of like his stuff.

All I’m willing to say is he’s been in a few niches like fitness and mens’ fashion. Now he‘s in the make money online field.

Anyways, he posted a TikTok completely dumping on Instagram. He complained because he got millions of views on TikTok, but only thousands on IG for the same story.

First off, who the hell cares about IG?

They basically just announced that they’re going to be a glorified TikTok clone.

And at this point, if you do any sort of internet marketing, you know that anything owned by fb is becoming less and less reliable..

Second, just because you get 3 million (or more) views doesn’t mean you always get that many.

I remember at my first ever marketing job ever. Back then if we got any views over 100, our department thought we were kicking ass and taking names.

And that was with boring corporate vanilla copy.

Also, if you follow the 80/20 rule, 80% of your views  will only come from 20% of your content.

So news flash…

Not every post you make is going to knock it out of the park.

Sometimes I get modest views (not 3 million) and sometimes I don’t.

Sometimes I get more comments than views, which is still fun because I get to talk with people.

Sometimes you only get a handful of new followers after a post.

And most of the time, when you work really hard on a post, but you don’t get the results you were hoping for…

It can be a hard pill to swallow, and definitely makes you question your own abilities.

Just know, before you hit post, you don’t know for sure what kind of results you’ll get.

If you did know, you should take your act to Vegas.

All you can do is step with your best foot forward, post everyday and constantly learn from it.

And then adjust when you need to.

But don’t be the “OMG, look at my views on this platform” guy.

Because just like Google and Facebook, TikTok can change its algorithm and your precious views will be Thanos snapped, or even way less.

Plus, have you ever seen someone say “head to the link in my bio”? It makes me cringe every time I hear it.

It sounds completely unnatural and always sounds rushed, like a bad pick-up line😂

You gotta ease into your offer instead.

And thankfully, I have a brief guide that can help you gently guide your customers and prospects using content you’re already making.

It’s not a huge investment in time, and even though it’s not a cure-all for everything related to online sales.

If you need a confidence boost in your marketing skills, it’ll point you in the right direction.👍

  • Post author:
  • Post published:July 8, 2021

How does everybody feel about Grant Cardone?

Grant Cardone Private Jet

Like him? Can’t stand him?

I gotta be honest. For the longest time I was undecided about him.

But from a marketing standpoint, I don’t think he’s doing anything wrong… 🤔

He seems to “get it.” He writes books (or has books written with his name slapped on the cover). And he’s got a polarizing personality for sure.

And as far as sales, he seems to sell “a ladder” (Selling smaller ticket items, which lead to bigger ticket items).

However, I’m just not a fan of the “hustle bro” culture that he promotes.

This concept of you gotta work 60-70 hours a week is just not sustainable.

That has not been my experience at all. Anytime I’ve worked to the point of burnout, it’s been unproductive. I’ve gotten the best results working smarter instead.

Don’t get me wrong, there are times to put in 10-12 hours every once in a while.

But not 7 days a week, for weeks on end.

Regardless, I’m sure someone’s going to correct me in the comments. That’s fine. Learn the hard way.

Like this weekend, I didn’t do anything really. I bbq’ed, drank beer and enjoyed my dogs.

I did a couple things here and there for my freelance business, but not anything that would be considered heavy lifting.

The one thing is, if you follow someone, you shouldn’t agree with everything they say…

As much as I like Dan Kennedy, I’m not about to send a 5-step printed direct mail campaign to prospects. Fuck all of that.

But if I hear, “You gotta rent where you live, and own what you can rent”…

Imma choke a dude bro😂😂😂

  • Post author:
  • Post published:July 7, 2021

Why progressive marketing is a horrible strategy

I’m a giant fan of beer. I like all kinds.

And I’m a huge fan of local breweries. I think my top 3 favorite breweries are all within a 30 minute drive from me.

I will also buy different kinds of beer to try, even when I already have a bunch at home.

But I saw this IG post from Lawson’s, which is in Vermont (not far away), and it bothered me that this was part of their marketing…

Here’s what their IG photo says:

We Welcome

All Races and Ethnicities

All Religion

All Countries of Origin

All Gender Identities

All Sexual Orientations

All Abilities and Disabilities

All Spoken Languages

EVERYONE

You are Home.

Here’s their caption:

At Lawson’s Finest, we are committed to providing a safe space in our workplace and guest spaces regardless of their gender, race, ethnicity, religion, sociology-economic status, sexual orientation, ability, gender expression, age or appearance. In June 2020, we formed an employee-led Equity, Inclusion and Diversity (EID) Board to serve as stewards of this core value. As a company, we are committed to confronting harassment wherever we encounter it through continuous improvement, education and accountability…

Blah, blah, blah, it goes on.

Damn, that was a lot to type in. And IG won’t even let me copy and paste😂

Here‘s where I’m getting hung up on… 

So freakin’ what?!?

Who cares?? Why is a brewery even posting something like this?

Do you know how many times I’ve seen this type of virtue signaling? Too many times.

At this point, it’s not even special. I’ve seen Health insurance companies, Starbucks, even big tech companies talk about how they’re “pro-everyone.”

It’s fine to have a diversity committee, but what is that committee actually accomplishing?

Are they cleaning up parks or adopting a highway? What is their committee physically doing besides sitting in a circle while you guys discuss how the world “should work.”

I could go on…

Bottom line is this…

If you read any piece of copy or marketing, and you don’t have a clear idea of what company it’s from…

Not only that, but you could plug any company’s name in there…

You need to completely rethink your marketing strategy.

Because as much as companies want to virtue signal these days because “everyone is doing it.”

They can’t virtue signal money to the bank😂

  • Post author:
  • Post published:July 6, 2021

Seriously TikTok?

At this point, my relationship status with TikTok is complicated…🤬

I posted a video the other day and within 2 hours, it was thanos-snapped out of existence👌

TikTok told me my video was taken down because it violated “community guidelines”, which is their way of saying go f### yourself.

Which is laughable because all the video consisted of, was me making fun of a Papa’s John’s commercial for using TikTok music in the background…

That and stating the fact that their CEO has certain “views”. I’ll leave it at that. Probably played a factor though…

Nobody’s a fan of the truth apparently…

But honestly, I could care less, for a few reasons…

One: I’m on other platforms, so I don’t rely on TikTok.

Two: I just make the videos I want to make, and then export the video (WITHOUT the watermark) and upload them to other platforms. It practically invents engagement.

Three: They can ban my GD account. I’ll just make another one.

And Four: That same video that got taken down, got me 10 or so new followers on a different platform.

So keep stepping on your dick TikTok. I’ll keep doing my thing.

This is another lesson NOT to rely too much on social.

Also, if you have a decent social following, I think I can help you…

I offer a free mini guide that’ll help you sell products and services by using the same type of content that you’re already making now.

So don’t just write posts or upload videos in the “hopes” of getting clients or followers buying your products.

They want to be guided every step of the way…

Learn how to do it here.

  • Post author:
  • Post published:July 5, 2021

Is the BTS Meal literally just a rebranded McNugget meal?

Anybody ever have those feelings that you’re just getting old?

I was on vacation last week and stopped at a hybrid gas station / McDonald’s.

And from outside the window I saw a poster for McDonald’s BTS Meal. Here’s what it is *spoilers*

– McNuggets
– Fries, Coke, the usual
– Sweet Chili and Cajun sauces

And in my early millennial mind, I’m like what idiot is gonna buy that??

Oh boy…

When I got back, I googled BTS Meal to escape the realities of me coming back from vacation. Here’s what I found…

– Thousands of stores were mobbed in Indonesia with people trying to get this meal
– The purple packaging is already selling on eBay
– This meal is already outselling the Travis Scott Burger (which was a glorified quarter pounder)

And honestly, good for McDonald’s! If they can pull that off and make an extra mil by renaming a chicken nugget meal, good on ‘em. They got it figured out.

Let me tell you… as many years of experience I have, marketing campaigns like this still throw me for a loop.

Just when you think something won’t be a success, appearances can be deceiving.

  • Post author:
  • Post published:June 23, 2021

Tales of businesses that are literally next door

I was on my evening walk last night and apparently I walked past a business, and didn’t even know it.

On someone’s front door it said, *Redacted* Computer Repair (I don’t want to dox their location because it’s a residence).

And a part of me cringed inside.

I thought to myself, ‘Oh man, how surprised are people when they just show up at someone’s house to drop off their computers?’

The guy’s sign was just a piece of paper taped to his door.

And I was hoping this guy just owned the fact that he works out of his house.

I tried to Google his site. He doesn’t have a site. He just has a Facebook business page, and has a generic clip art banner as his cover photo.

This is a missed opportunity. He could answer the door, and tell his customers to meet him in his ‘repair lair’ and then opens the garage door.

He could do a live streaming session from his basement while doing computer repair and makes a podcast out of it.

There’s a money-making million ideas I have for this guy. But even if I gave him my ideas for free, he probably wouldn’t do it. Leave it to peoples‘ pride.

It’s like a dating profile with an outdated photo of 25 lb lighter you.

Or the LinkedIn headshot of when you actually had hair.

Some of the best marketing is just straight up truthin.

  • Post author:
  • Post published:June 2, 2021